30-year-old leaves holiday dinner after being relentlessly hounded by his uncle about being unemployed with relentless jokes at his expense: 'Now my mum is saying I embarrassed her and I should’ve just ignored him'

It really goes to show the character of people based on how they treat you when you're down on your luck. Some will act like sharks smelling chum in the water and will seek to strike out and assert themselves above you. Others will disappear entirely, steering clear of anything they perceive to be "negative." But there will be those whose lives will lend a helping hand and really seek to be there for you

The last category is the only one that's really worth keeping around at all; all others, once they have shown their true colors, can be done away with. While there is a stronger obligation to family, the same is true here as well. Why should we tolerate people who do not treat us well?

When you're already under the wheels, it's harder and harder to get yourself out from under them, as they turn over and over on you to keep you in your place. Why should we keep those in our lives who, rather than extend a hand and help pull us out, would rather keep us there under the wheels?

Being out of work, is like this: there's the likelihood that you will find yourself feeling unimportant, discarded, and set aside in ways that you never thought you would feel. As this period of unemployment stretches out, you'll start to wonder if there is something wrong with you, and your confidence and self-worth erode. 

It is harder still than, that getting out of this situation takes confidence, and the ability to sell that confidence and capability to someone in an interview, especially when you're dealing with family members and a society that is determined to kick you when you're down.

Author image for Brad Dickson Brad Dickson
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  • 01
    A group of friends and family in an old photograph gather together for dinner.
    via Sasha Matveeva

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • This man, in his 30s, has found himself currently out of work, but he has been actively searching for jobs, being tenacious and refusing to succumb to the void of uncertainty. After attending a family Christmas dinner, hoping to escape from everything for a while and enjoy time with family, he found himself the target of an uncle who repeatedly made jokes about his unemployment. Calling him names and saying that Santa needed to bring him a CV. Attempting to keep the peace, he laughed at the jokes and brushed them off, but the uncle was not to be discouraged, and when no one else stepped in to aleviate the barrage and firm words weren't enough to get the uncle to back off, the man decided to just leave the family gathering altogether and remove himself from the situation.

  • 02

    "AITA for leaving Christmas dinner after my uncle wouldn’t stop making “jokes” about me being unemployed?"

    30s male here. I've been out of work for a bit and I'm actively looking, doing interviews, all that. It's not a secret, but I also don't really want it to be the main topic at family stuff. We had a family Christmas dinner this weekend. I went, brought a bottle and dessert, was polite, helped clear plates, tried to just get through it.
    via Pathfinder-electron
  • 03
    My uncle (50s) started with the usual "so when you getting a real job then" type comments. I did the normal laugh-it-off thing and said I'm on it. He kept going all night. Stuff like "must be nice having a permanent holiday" and "maybe Santa can bring you a CV" and "you should try working instead of sitting on that computer". People laughed, nobody told him to stop.
    via Pathfinder-electron
  • 04
    After the 4th or 5th comment I said, calmly, "can you drop it, I'm here for dinner not to be roasted." He replied something like "oh come on it's just banter, dont be so sensitive". At that point I just got up, said "right, I'm heading off, merry christmas everyone", and left.
    via Pathfinder-electron
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  • 05
    Now my mum is saying I embarrassed her and I should've just ignored him because "that's how he is" and it made things awkward for everyone. I think he can **** himself. AITA for leaving instead of sitting there and taking it?
    via Pathfinder-electron
  • 06
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I left the Christmas dinner early after my uncle kept making jokes about me being unemployed, instead of staying and ignoring it. I think I might be the asshole because
    via Pathfinder-electron
  • 07
    leaving made things awkward for everyone, my mum says it embarrassed her in front of the family, and my uncle says I "can't take banter" and I overreacted rather than just letting it go for one night.
    via Pathfinder-electron
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